happiness is a choice.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

*This entry should have been posted yesterday. I was not able to finish it since someone who's really in a bad temper told me 'Meron bang hinihikang nag-iinternet?'. So, anger more than obedience rose in my very soul. At once, I turned off the monitor, the CPU, then the AVR. Yes, without shutting the computer down and all the programs still opened.*

...

Thank God I survived that fucking asthma attack.

My sickness started during the exam week. Hell. Wrong timing. Then, the day before yesterday was the biggest shock of all. I had fever, cough, colds, and worst, asthma. I drank and inhaled any means by which I could breathe properly. Finally, a really expensive nebule saved me from hell.

...

By the way, I also watched High School Musical. Before, I was actually an "anti" of that Disney Channel Original. But because of sheer boredom (since I cannot do any activity, even walking for just 10 meters) and the influence of my sister who's addicted to it, I tried to watch it. And I did. It is awesome, I tell you. I adore the director, Kenny- I believe it is not a joke to direct any movie of that kind. The theme of the movie was "starting something new". Music vs Sports, Music vs. Education/Intelligence. Can we not be two persons at a time? Why not?

...

This is a reiteration and addition to a friend's entry.

The United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 19 #3 provides that:
The exercise of the rights provided for in paragraph 2 of this article carries with it special duties and responsibilities. It may therefore be subject to certain restrictions, but these shall only be such as are provided by law and are necessary:
(a) For respect of the rights or reputations of others;
(b) For the protection of national security or of public order (ordre public), or of public health or morals.

Blogging is one way through which freedom of speech could be expressed. And it is also one huge space to advertise the abuse of freedom of speech.

Yes, it is your blog- an online journal where you can actually put in everything. But, there's a really big difference between having the freedom to write and having such freedom with the attachment of your responsibilities.

Hammer your heads with the fact that billions of people could read it, and could be influenced by it. Unless you have a private blog, which could be visited by less than 10 persons only, you're forgivable.

I know, in my previous blog, I became very abusive of that freedom, and that was the reason this second blog exists.

A simple advise: If you want to talk about any person you hate in your blog, why not do it diplomatically? Rather than saying bad words about him or destroying his reputation, just write about how you think you could help him change. Or, we have lots of means to have private conversations.

You're not losing anything, anyway. In fact, you're gaining a lot with that.

...

Spirit of Christmas, where are you?

How many times did I hear or read the line "I still can't feel the Christmas coming? (Hindi ko pa nararamdamang malapit na ang Pasko)"?

I've also said that in my entry...until I realize...

Hindi naman lalapit ang Pasko para magparamdam sa'tin. Hindi rin naman yun papasok sa mga utak natin para imulat o gisingin tayo.

Can't we make the move? We're just being preoccupied with our businesses. Why not do something extraordinary?

Let me share this with you. I have a friend whose birth date fell on the day before Christmas. She's now fifteen years old, and for the past years (including this year, I think), she would celebrate her birthday (and Christmas) with the less-prvileged children in their place. How could she do that? She would save her allowance by sacrificing her eating. Indeed, an heroic act!

Yes, it's her birthday today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRISTEL! I am so much grateful to God for giving me such a friend (well, a best friend) like you!

...

We would go to Bulacan after three hours. Christmas spent there is always fulfilling. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

tinay. (:
10:44 AM

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Pinoy exam was hard. Not as expected. Most of us, including myself, didn't review for it because we really thought it would be easy. But hell no.

Algeb exam. Average. On the other hand, we expected that this would be really really hard.

"People die because of assuming"

Oha!

...

Tomorrow, I'm going to buy gifts for my classmates, friends, teachers, and relatives. Ho-Ho-Ho!

...

For a friend. First of all, we are not being killers of your joy...it's just that we don't want you to be involved again in such cases. Huwag mong sabihin na minsan ka na nga lang magiging masaya sa buhay-HS mo. Okay sige, tama ka. Pero okay lang sana kung walang nangyari these past few weeks sa klase natin - sa karamihan ng mga kaklase natin, at lalung-lalo na sa adviser natin. Tama yung sinabi mong hindi ka namin naiintindihan. Hindi talaga. Hindi na talaga. Hindi ka pa ba nadadala? Hihintayin mo pa bang kuhanin yan at magkaro'n ng NF sa card? Wag na. Tama na. Tama na na involved ka sa dalawang kaso. If you think that's being cool, then we're telling you it's not. Hindi kami nagmamalinis o nagmamarunong, mahal ka lang talaga namin.

Ikaw pa ba yan? Hindi ka na namin kilala.

...

Yesterday, I tried to look back, wanting to refresh my memories of the past. My previous blog gave me what I want- being footprints of the long journey. As I was reading my posts, feelings summoned up- both joys and sorrows. Later on, I realized how funny, foolish and stupid some of my posts were. Or if not, how cruel and wicked am I to my blog to rant in it.

Then i noticed, most of my posts were about Ikay. Either happy experiences or shallow quarrels I had with her. I missed it. I missed her.

By the way, the day before yesterday, I reread all the letters from my friends- those of which I kept in my cabinet and file case. I became teary-eyed. A lot of people I am terribly missing. 6-2 classmates, where the hell are all of you? Kimberly Flores, show up darling. Miss Brocoy, my only teacher who became really close to me. We still had communication in the early part of this year but not until she went to a place so far. Mrs. Opena, with her letter saying "Thank you for being my ever-responsible president..." written in front of an envelope, inside it was a rosary. The letter of my class adviser..."Hawak mo pa rin yan, Tin- you can still recover". Gemeile's reco letter. Ilena's reco letter. Ikay...your letters...the big card...the one with the revelation about him...the letter with the "khristine" given just this July. And lots more.

I will forever treasure those letters- so that someday I would remember that my life would never be that way without all of you. That once or twice, you became part of my being, and hopely, I became part of yours too.

...

Tomorrow's exams would be English and Religion. I would start reviewing after this. So now, good-bye.

tinay. (:
2:30 PM

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Why can't I hate you? Tell me.

...

Biology and Social Science were the exams a while ago. God, why'd you give me a headache?

Math and Filipino are up for tomorrow...next in line to give me another headche. Thank you very much.

...

Lyrics of You Got It All - revived by MYMP (for YOU)

I, I was a game he would play
He brought the clouds to my day
Then like a ray of light
You came my way one night
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
Don’t you know, don’t you know

You got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it’s true
There’s just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you’re all that he’s not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
Over him

No, don’t let him worry you so
Once I met you I let go
Oh you can surely see
You’re so much more to me
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
You’re better than all the rest
Who do I love the best
Don’t you know, don’t you know

You got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it’s true
There’s just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you’re all that he’s not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
All over him

tinay. (:
4:47 PM

Saturday, December 16, 2006

" I cried because I had no shoes...until I saw a man with no feet."

My conscience moved me when I read that. Why do I always ask for more? Why is it that everytime people praise me, I would always hammer their heads with the thought that it is not happy to be in my place?

I can't even remember a time seeing myself sincerely thanking God.

Appreciate.

Be contented.

Be grateful.

We never know. You might wake up one day with nothing but loneliness.

tinay. (:
3:40 PM

Friday, December 15, 2006

I got random thoughts. So, bare with me.

Exams are up next week. And since I made a terrible performance this quarter (I mean it), I need to do well in the exams, or should I say do really GREAT. Maybe a miracle? Most of my requirements were passed in late submission dates. My quizzes are balancing themselves from low to average ones. My long tests/mastrey tests sucked as well. Again, I mean it. I really don't know why I just woke up one morning seeing myself as a careless, lazy and an i-dont-care-about-school student. I guess God heard me when I said, "Hindi kaya masarap maging matalino. I'd rather be someone talented than an intelligent one." I admit I said that seriously, but no, I don't want God to take it seriously. If He exists- I know He does. (:

Now you know. I am a no appreciative girl when it comes to my own self.

I'm confused. My mind is set to be studious, but my body pushes me to be indolent. Can't you get me? I bring my books and notebooks at home...but I cannot seem to open a single page of those. I begin and end up wih just plans.

Look at me now. I have lots to do, you know. But still, I'm sitting here, allowing my fingers to type nonsense things, which is nothing but a waste of time. No, not really. Ha-Ha.

Big deal? For you, hell no. For me? VERY BIG.

If there is something I am proud of at this very moment, it is the realization that only few people could cry in front of strangers...and I am one of those. I had experienced crying while standing still on a street where hundreds of vehicles pass by every minute. And it was just hours ago when history repeated itself. No, not on a street, but in a very unfamiliar food chain named Jollibee (sarcasm). Everyone was staring at me with pitiful eyes. I was also looking at them with eyes saying at the back of my mind, "Baka lumilipad na yung chickenjoy niyo!". No, kidding. I was with my mother and my sister- and one of those two was the reason for my i-am-not-shameful act.

Later, before this year ends, I would make a list of promises ~~made to be broken.~~ Yes, close to a New Year's Resolution. I would reborn myself and relive my life...starting from scratch.

I've got a favorite teacher: Ms. Garcia. She's so GREAATT. I love her. (:

Christmas is fast-approaching. I haven't bought any gift yet. In fact, I can't really feel the season coming. But ugh, I badly need a vacation. N-O-W.

By the way, regarding my first paragraph, someone help me please? I need nothing but inspiration. Dhanika already volunteered to be my talking reminder notebook. Thank you.

I'm saying good-bye to this blog anytime this December or January. Speaking of my blog, I'm sorry for not updating this rotten site that much. I'm lacking time. I have not read books as well. I hate it, really.

I just realized a while ago that...I want to be close to God.

END. This entry is so unorganized and lame. No time to fix it. Got to sleep.

tinay. (:
10:04 PM

Saturday, December 02, 2006

December 2, 2006
2:08 am

As you're used to hearing (or should I say, reading), yet again, I have been piled up of things to do. And you guessed it right, I haven't done any such shit among those. Learn how to prioritize. Yes, internet is my priority.

Nooo, children, don't imitate me.

By the way, I would like to share with you my experience during our interaction.

It was November 27, Monday, when we had our interaction with the Maristians. Getting-to-know-you activities. Class Profile (their video rocks!). Games. Interaction Activities. Snacks. Intermission Numbers (at kay lamig pa ng bituin...go jeijei!). And all that stuff. It was just a four-hour interaction yet the effects lasted until now...hangover, at least for my classmates only.

And now, we've been chatting and texting til God knows what time. So I lied when I said "at least for my classmates only". Haha.

But nooo, don't get me wrong, that's mere keeping in touch.

By the way, I edited my Friendster profile and I visited the Multiply of the very pretty Ilena. Wag na ideny. (:

2:25 am (This is the first time I made an entry in less than 20 minutes.)

tinay. (:
2:01 AM