happiness is a choice.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

"GOODBYE": the hardest word to say

For me, it's not "i love you" nor "i'm sorry" the hardest words to say. All of us can say those words insincerely...artificially.

But when it comes to the word "GOODBYE"...it could never be easy. Yes, it can never be.

Leaving someone that had been part of your life, especially when that person had been the BIGGEST PART of your life, is for me, the hardest thing to do.

Of course, being left is as hard as leaving. As they say, everything works in pairs.

My friend experienced the most painful days in her life when she was left by her boyfriend...

*STORY*
The guy needs to go out-of-country to study and of course, work there. It definitely means, he will stay there forever. So he decided to break-up with my friend. The day he broke-up was supposedly their fourth month of being together. My friend shed a bucket of tears that day.

When the guy was already in that certain country, he started sending e-mail's, SMS, and all ways to communicate with my friend. But he got no answer. My friend doesn't want him to worry about her. She doesn't want to answer because she doesn't want to miss him. And that is the best way to get over him easily.

Days passed. Both of them cry every night. Sad and depressed.

After weeks, the guy decided to forget my friend. And he told my friend to forget him also. "MAGKALIMUTAN". And that decision ended everything. Now, they act as if they're strangers to each other. They lost everything...from the time they first met until the last day they are together. Everything were put into waste. :(

It's true that it takes minutes to say "i love you" and "i'm sorry" but it takes forever to say "goodbye".

by Ivy Baker Priest:
"The world is so round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."

Sometimes we should think that saying "goodbye" marks something to begin. Maybe a new life. A life facing the day with a smile. A life thanking the Lord for giving you that person even if he can't be with you forever. A life where you have another purpose for living.

I believe that when God takes someone from you, He replaces it with someone more precious. Someone that will fill your emptiness. Someone that will make you understand why someone needs to leave.

by George Eliot:
"Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love."

Most of the time, we realize the importance of a person when he/she leaves you. You realize how hard it is to live life without him/her.

But you also learn to live independently...to be strong...to live life by yourself.

You learn to appreciate the simple things God gives you...

And those are your FRIENDS.

Your friends who give you the strength to face another life.

They recognize your weaknesses and try to change them.

Sila yung mga taong iniwan mo nung mga times na nakahanap ka ng taong papalit sa kanila. Oo, iniwan mo ng dahil sa isang taong iiwan ka din pala.

But in spite of that, they are still there. Ready to give you another "Hello!" after you hear a painful "Goodbye" from someone.

And my final words...

DON'T CRY BECAUSE IT'S OVER. SMILE COZ IT HAPPENNED.

tinay. (:
10:53 AM

Sunday, March 26, 2006

DESTINY

do i believe in destiny? a part of me says yes. a part says no.

but first, what's destiny?

when people hear that word, most of them associate it with LOVE.

advisers say to their friend who's after a break-up, "OK lang yan. Di lang talaga sya ang para sayo. Destiny lang yan. Kung kayo, kayo talaga. Pagtatagpuin kayo ng tadhana."

destiny - tadhana

WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN DESTINY, YOU BELIEVE THAT GOD HAS A VERY BIG BOOK, WHERE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED AND WILL HAPPEN IN THIS WORLD IS WRITTEN. ALL THINGS WERE ALREADY PLANNED. AND PEOPLE WILL JUST LIVE IT OUT.

Destiny is like a movie script. The WRITER is GOD. The SCRIPT is the BIG BOOK. The ACTORS are WE.

THEY say: Destiny is for LOSERS. It's just a LAME EXCUSE for LETTING things happen to you instead of MAKING them happen.

"Its CHOICE, not chance, that determines your destiny."

back to my question: Do i believe in destiny? A part of me says yes. A part says no.

Why YES? Why NO?

in school, our teachers always say, MAKE GOD THE CENTER OF YOUR LIVES. and FOR ME, it's like saying "BELIEVE IN DESTINY"

because of destiny, you just let God control your life.

sometimes, i'm that person. i dont let myself worry about things. "hindi naman ako pababayaan ni God eh. binibigyan niya ko ng problems na alam niyang kaya kong malampasan."

most people think the same way. and what's the effect of that?

they don't do things to overcome those problems. they don't exert effort knowing that God will give them the solution. INSTANT SOLUTION.

when my friends have problems, i used to tell them that it's God's will to give them those. and He always have reasons. i'm saying those advices even though i know i'm making them weak...making them depend in destiny. in life, you can't just accept all things.

a quote by Aung San Suu Kyi:
"We achieve everything by our EFFORTS alone. Our fate is not decided by an almighty God. We decide our own fate by our actions. You have to gain mastery over yourself...It is NOT a matter of sitting back and accepting."

another by Henry Miller:
"Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him."

Do we really need JUST to FOLLOW, ACCEPT, and LET it LEAD us? I don't think so.

I don't know if it's right or wrong to believe in destiny. but i'm leaving you with these words...
Have faith. Let God guide you. But not live life for you.

.................

These are all my opinions. And the quotes are opinions of other people. Hehe.

tinay. (:
4:15 AM

Saturday, March 25, 2006

so happy. so impressed

im so happy that i found someone same with me. we're same confused people asking same things.

coindence, we love same authors.

i accidentally found myself reading her blog entries. i was very much impressed of what she's writing there. about life. about her life. about how she looks about life. it's everything.

i wanted to talk to her because i think we can relate with each other. i dont know. i thought im the only person in this world thinking about that thing. but certainly, my faith takes off that CONFUSE-NESS. and let my life go on.

who is she? yes. she's a theresian. a batchmate of mine. im deeply impressed with her. even the very first time i heard her name because of a poem their group did. it'a a "WOW!".

tinay. (:
4:15 PM

A LETTER TO THE ONE GOD HAS PREPARED FOR ME

I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me, if like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended.

I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to see you. I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in the movie? Or is it posssible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh, how I wish you were here right now, because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions.

Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known 'LoVe'. I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find the right person...and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not know what love is!...

You just don't know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways!

I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. I think of all the pain I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me --- the life I shall spend with you.

In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all the pain and sacrifice. After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not PeRfEcT in its truest sense but perfect --- for you!

I wonder if you've gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you've been hurt so many times along the journey. But my dearest one, please don't ever give up because I am right here...patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.

At night I would look out my windows and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above, thinking in time they would reach you.

And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you.

In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love. And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are worth the wait.

And when the time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life --- and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!

In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don't even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions.

Don't worry, don't be afraid of getting lost, God saw to it that all roads, no matter which one you choose to follow, leads to Me.

tinay. (:
6:35 AM

PARA SA MGA KAIBIGAN KONG GUSTO NA MAGPAKAMATAY.

A guy, heart-broken, tried to jump off a building. He was about to let go when a girl asked him to stop.

The girl said, "DON'T LET LOVE KILL YOU. IF YOU JUMP, YOUR FAMILY WILL BE SAD. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO SAY THE UNSPOKEN WORDS OR REVEAL SECRET FEELINGS. and if you die, who's gonna care for your girl and SHE WILL BE IN THE ARMS OF OTHERS."

The guy cried realizing what the girl said, back off, and asked, "How did you know all of those?"

The girl held his hand, smiled and replied, "Coz I jumped off this building when I got my heart broken." :-(

tinay. (:
5:40 AM

ikay. pam. ize. zina. pat.

*ikay - telepono ulet with her. hay. hay. hay. bakit kaya lahat ng problema dinaranas namin? haha. pagsubok ba to? kung oo, ang hirap naman. ganun ba kami kalakas para bigyan nun? siguro nga. yeah ikay. strong kasi tayo eh! :-D

*pam - katext ko siya kagabe. sun sya at globe ako. thanks to you. hay. ang laki ng pinagbago mo. pero ok lang. totoo kaya na ayaw ng bestfriend niya na kausapin niya ko? ano ba yun. bakit kaya? hay. :-D

*ize - tuesday ata kami ngkatext. haha. nag-away kasi kami nang matagal. tas yun. tas tinext ko siya twice. nung tuesday lang sya nakapagreply. she's in the states. hehe. ingat ka dyan. :-D
BELATED HAPPY 23!

*zina - haha. biglang nagtext tong batang to. nangangamusta. yes naman. nakaalala! yun lang. :-D

*pat - katext ko din hanggang 2am. haha. iyakan sessions. ba yun. basta. hahahaha. tawa na lang. sorry. :-(
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

tinay. (:
5:26 AM

Friday, March 24, 2006

pam and marga.

Yesterday nga pla..

Pam replied sa message ko sa kanya last last week. Haha. She's my long-time friend. SUMMER 2004 yung huli naming pag-uusap. She said, "Of course, I do remember you." Short but meaningful. Awww.

Thanks Marga for the testi. I miss you too. Sobra!

mouse.

Today...

6:00 am pa lang gising na ko. Kase kahapon, may pinagawa sa kin yung lolo ko. QUOTATION...it's a contract for his work. I need to type it. Eh tinamad ako kahapon kaya nag-alarm na lang ako ng 6am para gawin yun.

Sayang ang CORONA Bond Paper ko! Ang dameng nasayang. Nagloloko kasi yung printer. Badtrip. Wrong timing pa yung printer. Haha.

Soundtrip. Aga-aga, nagpatugtog ako. Bat ba?

Tas bloghopping ulet. Haha. Natawa ko sa entry ni eunice. Baet naman ni Gemeile. Haha! :-D

Then naghanap ng song for this blog. How To Deal - Frankie J.

Nagtext si Magic. Tinulugan ko ba sya? Oo nga ata. Haha.

May pinoproblema ako ngayon... :-( Need HELP.

Maya na lang ulit!

Onga pala. I have my mouse na! Yey! Kaya yun ang title! Haha!

tinay. (:
9:02 AM

Thursday, March 23, 2006

I was texting with someone until 1am. Pinakamatagal namin ay hanggang 5am. Haha! Need to break the record!

8:05 am...
Ginising ako dahil tumawag si Mrs. dela Pena. So yun. Di ko man lang sya ginreet ng good morning at thank you. Haha. Kakagising eh! :-D

Breakfast then I watched MIRMO.

Then, pinanuod ko ulit ung VCD ng Family Day. Namiss ko c Sir Naig. Haha. Nakakatawa yung mga parts na finofocus isa-isa yung mga High School students. Baket?
-halatang halatang nangangawet na sa pagngiti
-yung iba, umirap pa!
-meron din namang dedma lang
-meron pang ngsabe ng "Oh My God" (dahil din ngawit na sa pagngiti)
-huli sa akto yung mga nagdadaldalan
-yung iba, labas pa strap ng bra o kaya yung sando
-at kung ano-ano pa! HAHAHA!

TV ulet. Palipat-lipat ng palabas.

Laro naman sa PC kasama ang aking lil sis.

Tas online na. Wala pa din akong mouse. Hirap ng ganung buhay. Haha.

Bloghopping ulit. Then entries for my blog. Yesterday and today.

tinay. (:
9:46 AM

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Telepono with Ikay for so long. Our talk mainly focused on two persons.

Then I got online. Chat kami ni anne. Seryoso nung una tas napunta sa iPod at mga kanta yung usapan. Haha.

Ang ganda ng Worlds Apart sa AXN. Parang two different cultures na pagsasamahin ng buhay. Once ko pa lang yun napanood. May family from America na pumunta sa Africa to live with them. Ang hirap makaadapt sa way of living ng mga Africans. Haha. They stayed there for more than 1 week. Ang ganda ng palabas. Dame kang matututunan.

Merienda. I and my brother, Carl went to Jollibee para bumili ng snacks. Kaso sabi niya sa 7-11 na lang daw. Haha. Bumili na lang kami ng 3 slurpee at junk foods. Tas bumili din ako ng isaw, definitely hindi sa 7-11. :-D

Soundtrip.

TV naman. I love watching PBB. Haha. Produkto ng BOREDOM. Pero OK naman yung palabas.

Syempre di nawawala ang pagtetext sa daily routine ko.

Hay. Paulit-ulit na lang ginagawa ko.

tinay. (:
3:18 PM

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Thursday - Shaggy Dog. :-D

Friday - General cleaning of my room. I fixed my school things and other stuffs.

Saturday - We went to Liliw, Laguna. Lunch at McDo and Starbucks. Swimming. Bonding with the kids (Most speak in English.) Buying of slippers and flipflops. A little of texting. Inihaw na liempo etcetera for dinner. We slept in a VERY BIG kubo. Very cold. Got colds.

Sunday - Fried rice, hotdog, egg, etcetera for breakfast. Then we went at Tita Ann's family's farm (Which is almost like an hacienda.) We picked bell peppers, lettuce, basil leaves, etcetera. Swimming again. Sinigang na baboy, laing, fish, etcetera for dinner. Drawing Contest for the kids. I myself drew BARBIE. Swimming for the adults. Going Home. AYOKO PA UMUWI. Super saya. :-D

In the car...mga 10 mins. pa lang kami nagbabiyahe, bigla kong naramdaman na naiihi ako. Mga after 5 mins., saka ko lang sinabi na huminto kami sa gas station para umihi ako. After 3 mins., nakakita kami ng gas station na may CR. Salamat. Relief. Grabe yun ah. 8 mins. ko natiis yun! :-D

and TODAY...
Sorry to Katherine. Di ako pwede ngayon sa Mega Mall. She invited us (I, Hera, Hazel, Tristel, etcetera) for ice skating today. Libre daw nila. Then I called Hera kung pwede siya. Tinatamad daw siya. Ako naman, hindi ATA ako papayagan. And tinamad na rin ako. Kaya yun. Di na lang niya tinuloy.

Telepono with Hera until 11:00 am. May itatanong lang dapat ako tas humaba na yung usapan. Haha. I'm so excited sa birthday mo! Haha.

Lunch.

Soundtrip after. Produkto ng BOREDOM. Nagpakasenti tuloy ako. Haha.

Walang mouse ang PC. Kaya ngayon, keyboard lang ginagamit ko. Medyo mahirap kasi di ko magawa yung iba.

YM. Wala akong gana makipagchat.

Blogs. Checked others' blogs. Haha. Read their entries. And made a new entry for mine.

After this, soundtrip ulet. Tas telebabad na lang din ulit.

Can't wait to go to Cavite. Hay! I will work in my Tita's office. And I'll have salary. Haha. I want that. To survive from BOREDOM.

Two and a half months pa ang vacation. Haba pa. BORED!

Hera and I are planning to go somewhere sometime. :-D

tinay. (:
7:57 AM

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Last saturday, I planned to make a new blog. Nakakasawa na kasi yung date eh. And some entries there caused arguments among my friends.

Choosing skin: guitar? chucks? life? love? child-like? iPod? and I ended choosing iPod. :-D

I'm still fixing this blog. I find it colorful yet simple. Haha.

Last Friday, we (I, Hera, Maeka, Thea) went to SM North Edsa. At first, kasama namin sina Zina, Bea and Leanne. But they decided to commute because Thea's dad is still fixing something and we have to wait. WAIT for a LONG TIME. But anyway, okay lang kasi LIBRE naman food and pang-Quantum namin. Haha. Thanks to Thea's parents.

Sa Quantum...We spent almost P400 for the tokens. We ended having 285 tickets. Yey! We got four bracelets..2 pick-up-sticks..etcetera.

Sa Egg..Hera and Maeka bought something. Hera asked P50 from me. Hehe. :-D

Last day is a SUPER BLAST.

SUMMER na. March is full of "lakad". Swimming. Birthdays. Outings. Etcetera.

@online since 11:00am

@reading TEEN IDOL (I wasn't able to return it to Ikay last Friday.)

@had chatted with Ikay, Nona, Aryelle, Mimax, Pumkin, Geline and Gelli

GET WELL SOON IKAY!

tinay. (:
9:35 PM